Doctor Zhivago

5

In the fall, the partisan camp stood in the Fox Otok, small forest on a high hill, under which she rushed, flowing around it from three sides and undermining the banks with water, rapid foamy river.
Before the partisans, the Kappelevs spent the winter here. They strengthened the forest with their own hands and the labors of the surrounding residents., and in the spring they left him. Now in their unexploded dugouts, partisans settled in trenches and communication trenches.
Liveriy Averkievich shared his dugout with a doctor. The second night he occupied him with talking, keeping him awake.
- I wish I knew, what is my venerable parent doing now, dear vater - my papakhen.
- Lord, how much I can’t stand this clowning tone, - the doctor sighed to himself. - And after all, the spitting image of a father!
- As far as I have concluded from our past conversations, you have learned enough about Averky Stepanovich. AND, it seems to me, - pretty good opinion of him. BUT, your Majesty?
- Liveriy Averkievich, tomorrow we have a pre-election gathering at the buffet. Besides, on the nose the trial of the orderlies moonshiners.
Lajos and I do not have materials on this yet.. We will meet tomorrow for this purpose.. And I haven't slept for two nights.
Postpone the interview. Have mercy.
- No - still, returning to Averky Stepanovich. What do you say about the old man?
- You still have a very young father, Liveriy Averkievich. Why do you talk about him like that?. And now I will answer you. I have often told you, that I am poorly versed in certain gradations of the socialist infusion, and I don't see much difference between the Bolsheviks and other socialists. Your father is from the category of people, to which Russia owes the unrest and unrest of recent times. Averky Stepanovich revolutionary type and character. Same as you, he is a representative of the Russian fermentation beginning.
- What is it, praise or rebuke?
- I once again ask you to postpone the dispute until a more convenient time.
Besides, draw your attention to cocaine, which you sniff again without measure. You unauthorizedly plunder it from the reserves under my jurisdiction. We need it for other purposes., not to mention, that it is poison and I am responsible for your health.
- Again you were not in yesterday's class. You have a social vein atrophy, like illiterate women and a hardened inert man in the street. Meanwhile you are a doctor, well-read and even, it seems, write something yourself. Explain, how does it fit?
- I do not know, as. Probably, does not fit in any way, that's that. I am worthy of pity.
- Humility is more than pride. Why grin so sarcastically, would get better acquainted with the program of our courses and would recognize their arrogance inappropriate.
- The Lord is with you, Liveriy Averkievich! What arrogance is there! I admire your educational work.
Review of issues is repeated on agendas. I read it. I know your thoughts on the spiritual development of soldiers. I'm in awe of them. All, what do you say about the attitude of a soldier of the people's army to his comrades, to the weak, to the defenseless, to a woman, to the idea of ​​purity and honor, it's almost the same, what formed the Dukhobor community, this is a kind of Tolstoy, this is a dream of a dignified existence, my adolescence is full of this. Should I laugh at such things?
But, At first, ideas for general improvement so, how they began to be understood from October, I am not set on fire. Secondly, it is still far from existence, and for some more rumors about it, such seas of blood have been paid, what, perhaps, the end does not justify the means. Thirdly, And this is the main point, when i hear about reworking life, I lose control of myself and fall into despair.
Alteration of life! This is how people can reason, although it may be well-worn, but who never knew life, who did not feel her spirit, her soul. For them, existence is a lump of rough, material not ennobled by their touch, needing their processing. And the material, substance, life is never. She herself, if you want to know, continuously renewing itself, eternally self-reworking beginning, she eternally remakes herself and transforms herself, she herself is much higher than our stupid theories.
- Still, attending meetings and interacting with wonderful, our magnificent people would raise, dare to notice, your mood. You wouldn't indulge in melancholy. I know, where is she from. Oppresses you, that they are beating us, and you don't see a gap ahead. But never, friends, don't panic.
I know things are much more terrible, personally concerning me, - they are temporarily not subject to publicity, - and then I'm not lost. Our failures are temporary. Kolchak's death is inevitable.
Mark my word. You will see. We will win. Take comfort.
"Not, it is inimitable! - thought the doctor. - What infancy! What myopia! I endlessly tell him about the opposite of our views, he captured me by force and keeps me by force, and he imagines, that his failures must upset me, and his calculations and hopes give me vigor. What self-blinding! The interests of the revolution and the existence of the solar system are one and the same for him ".
Yuri Andreevich shuddered. He said nothing and just shrugged., without trying to hide, that Liberia's naivety overwhelms his patience and he is forcibly restrained. It didn't hide from Liveria.
- Jupiter, you are angry, then you are wrong, - he said.
- Understand, understand, finally, that all this is not for me.
Jupiter, "Don't panic", "Who said a, I have to say ba ", "Mor has done his job, Mor can go away ", - all these vulgarities, all these expressions are not for me. I will say a, I won't tell you, at least burst and burst. I admit, that you are the lights and liberators of Russia, that without you she would have disappeared, mired in poverty and ignorance, and yet I have no time for you and I don't give a damn about you, I don’t love you and fuck you all.
The rulers of your thoughts sin with sayings, but forgot the main, that you won't be cute, and are ingrained in the habit of liberating and making happy especially those, who doesn't ask for it. Probably, you imagine, that there is no better place in the world for me, than your camp and your society. Probably, I still have to bless you and thank you for speaking for my bondage, for it, that you set me free from my family, from son, from home, from the case, from everything, what is dear to me and how am I alive.
There were rumors about the invasion of an unknown non-Russian unit in Varykino. they say, it is crushed and plundered.
Kamennodvorsky does not deny this.. As if mine and yours managed to escape. Some mythical cross-eyed in quilted jackets and hats crossed Rynv on the ice in a terrible frost, without saying a bad word, they shot all living things in the village, and then disappeared just as mysteriously, how did you appear. What do you know about it? It's true?
- Nonsense. Fiction. Unverified nonsense picked up by gossips.
- If you are so kind and generous, as in your instructions on the moral education of soldiers, let me go on all four sides. I will go looking for mine, about which I don't even know, are they alive, and where are they. And if not, then shut up, you are welcome, and leave me alone, because everything else is not interesting to me, and I am not responsible for myself. AND, finally, I have, damn it, right to just want to sleep!
Yuri Andreevich lay down on his bed, face in the pillow. He tried with all his might not to listen to the justifying Liveria, who continued to calm him down, that by spring the whites will definitely be defeated. Civil war will end, freedom will come, prosperity and peace. Then no one dares to keep the doctor. Until then, you have to be patient. After all taken away, and so many victims, and such an expectation is not long left to wait. And where would the doctor go now?. For his own good, you can't let him go anywhere now..
"It simply came to our notice then, devil! Earned by the tongue! How is he not ashamed to chew the same gum for so many years??"- Yuri Andreevich sighed to himself and was indignant. "I listened to myself, zlatoust, unfortunate cocaine addict. Night is not his night, no sleep, nor living with him, damned. ABOUT, how i hate him! God sees, I will kill him someday.
ABOUT, Author, my poor girl! Are you alive? Where are you? Jesus, Why, she should have given birth long ago! How was your birth??
Who do we have, boy or girl? My dear all, what's wrong with you?
Author, my eternal reproach and my fault! Lara, I'm scared to call you, so that together with the name you do not breathe your soul out of yourself.
Jesus! Jesus! And this one is all oratory, does not calm down, hateful, insensible animal! ABOUT, someday i will not stand and will kill him, I will kill him ".

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